What kind of personality my kid will turn into? I am sure this question is there in every parent's mind. And, every parent strives to give their best to their children. Let me take it further by talking about a couple of my friends. Both of them are bright, energetic and successful and good at heart as well. But, they are polar opposite when it comes to their personalities. One is a spoiled brat and the other one is sort of an angel.
The spoiled brat - He is a chain smoker, consumes three bottles of beer everyday (Yes, every single day). His parents found a beautiful girl for him to get married. He met the girl and talked to her, but finally refused to marry. The girl is so kind-hearted and innocent that he felt guilty to spoil her life with his addictive bad habits. Even after rigorous attempts, he found it impossible to get rid of his bad habits. As of now, he chose to stay single throughout. He was brought up by his house maid. He was allowed to watch TV and do whatever he wanted to in his childhood. While his parents were busy making money, he had access to satellite TV in his 3rd grade. He had his first beer in his 10th and first smoke in 11th grade. One thing, his parents failed to do was to spend ample time with him. Even on their weekends and the evenings, they hardly spent any time with him. They substituted his needs and wants with money. Hid needs and wants were never moderated. Somehow, out of his inherent talent, he grew to be a successful professional. His parents got to know about his habits only when he refused his first marriage proposal.
The 'angel' guy - In short, he is a stable, sensible, nice gentle man. He is leading a stable, life with perfect work-life balance. His parents were also full time employed. But, when they are home, they ensured that they spent their time with him. They took turns to look after him, paid attention to his needs. Most of all, they did educate him and had a healthy shuffle of parental responsibilities and work. That's the only thing that made all the difference we see after 25 years.
Knowingly or unknowingly, they did one thing right. They understood that kids need to be nurtured in their early childhood. Kids are just like plants. When sowed, it needs to be nurtured. They need to be protected from weeds, fed with nutrients, water and enough light until they are on their own. A kid may be brilliant by nature and born with a genetically gifted brain. But, even the great brains needs nurturing. Especially in this era , which is filled with distractions.
Research shows that Adolf Hitler's toilet training phase has gone wrong that made him the kind of terrible person he became. There is no better example to prove that the early childhood experiences grealty influence their persona.
Kids imitate the person with whom they spend most of their time. Be that person and do not let your house maid or the care taker to be that. I know it's a heavy lifting for parents. But, the pain is worth enduring. To start with, talk to your kids a lot, listen to them, fight with them, quarrel with them. Teach them cycling, swimming and anything you know. Tell your little girl that you will teach her to ride your bullet. Teach them how to cook, train them to make their own bed. All these beautiful memories will be will be etched in their minds forever. Stop attending the endless notifications of your smartphone and start paying attention to your kids. They will grow to be a smart, happy and healthy kids.And, 20 years from now, you will be a proud parent of a happy soul.
"There are two gifts we should give to our children. One is roots, and the other is wings." Roots are the early childhood learnings and experiences. Wings are the freedom you give and the trust you have on them. If the roots are good, their wings will take them places they want to go. Happy parenting!